I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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