You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
