As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
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Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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