Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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