So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
