Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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