What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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