Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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