i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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