If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
