my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
