That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
