I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
