Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
