soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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