Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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