I'm drive I can fine osifer
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This is my life. Enjoy the view
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
