I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize