no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
