it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
