Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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