Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
