so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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