please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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