meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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