And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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