Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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