It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
