none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
