you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
