You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize