I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He felt like a one man threesome
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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