i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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