not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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