we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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