There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.