Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.