Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?