It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What changed your mind?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight