we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
