he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We got so high we made milksteak
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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