All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
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