mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize