Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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