Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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