Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
