so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She bit a glass in half.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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