So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
