I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
