oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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