i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
