At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
