i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
