im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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