I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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