So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
