Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
