Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just googled if crying burns calories
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
