I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
