The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
