I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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