how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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