This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
