Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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