why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
its liver damage thursday
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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