wrigley field is MILF paradise
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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