the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize