She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
